Remembering What We Hoped for in 2010

A year ago, David Loftus and Ryan John shared with us their hope for what 2010 would bring.  I think it's fitting to look back on what they wrote then, knowing now how the year played out.




Ryan John:

What is my hope for 2010?  Wow, I have a lot of hopes for next year and most of them I don’t even know exist yet. I mean all my life I’ve always have the same big picture, life hopes I dream one day will work out.  But the small hopes change too rapidly and spontaneously for me to even think about. The small ones hit me first thing in the morning as soon as I wake up.  These are the routine things I’ll always hope for that either stems from my mood that minute or my immediate agenda, like getting out of bed on time to making it into work when I’m supposed to. 

Than, throughout the normal course of the day, as usual, I’ll put some sort of effort into hoping things go the way I want at that point in time.  Some days in 2010, my small hope will be to surf the net, daydream about whatever pops in my brain and not really be held accountable for and real, substantial productivity.  These are the days in 2010 when I need my big, life hopes to come in and override those little variable, sometimes detrimental hopes. 

My personal hope for 2010 is to spend less time hoping and more time resolving.  Starting to resolve those burning things inside of me I know I’m capable of.   Small steps towards that direction can take me down the road I know I want to be on.  I need those big hopes in my life to become more of a reality and less of a daydream.  Hope is given me too much of a safety net I guess.  I’m not getting any younger.  My hope for 2010 is more resolve.

David Loftus:

I suppose I could hope for something really wonderful and earth-shaking (in human terms, anyway) like an end to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a world treaty to stop the production of greenhouse gases, or a dependable alternative energy source that replaces petroleum, but none of those seems to be within the realm of possibility within the next year. There are also things I wish to achieve personally in 2010, but those are mostly in my hands; I regard them as closer to plans than hopes.

So my hope is that most Americans will clear up their consumer debt and stop buying things they don’t really need, especially on credit. In the past, about 70 percent of the Gross Domestic Product has depended on consumer spending, but we have to stop measuring economic health this way. It’s become a big, unending, breakneck cycle of production and consumption, mostly for their own sake. One of the great ironies of the past half-century is that corporate America has managed to sell the notion that spending money is an expression of freedom . . . so that citizens overspend on credit, and succeed in losing their freedom to banks, lending companies, and sometimes even the sheriff.

If Americans were to break out of that rut, they would discover subtle but deep psychological and spiritual rewards. Once free of the accumulation-of-debt-in-order-to-keep-consuming cycle, fewer folks would feel tied down to their particular jobs. They’d be more likely to devote their energies to activities -- even work -- that they love, less likely to cling to neglectful and abusive partners, more likely to spend time with their children, and less likely to turn to drugs (from aspirin and shopping and television to alcohol and heroin) in order to get by. And little by little, the world will become a better, happier place. That’s my hope, anyway.

 On behalf of everyone at AMERICAN CURRENTS, have a happy and healthy New Year!

American Currents First Annual Newsmaker of the Year: The American People - Nikki Lorenzini

We are pleased to announce the first annual American Currents Newsmaker of the Year.  This year, we have chosen a group as opposed to an individual. The Newsmakers of the Year are the American People. They were not chosen for their trials and tribulations during the Great Recession, or for struggling with unemployment.  Instead, we found ordinary Americans going out of their way to help one another. And for that, we honor them. 

 For the past week, I was trying to think back on 2010 to see if there was any person or people that were the biggest news makers for me. Mark Zuckerberg didn't really impress me. I have been using Facebook for 5 + years, so there was nothing new there. Obama is doing his job, Tiger Woods actually admitted he had his affairs, lost his wife, and tried to come back to golfing. Mel Gibson has just about lost it, and Avatar scored big. There were fires, floods, and an oil spill. I could easily say the people who went in to help those victims are influential, but I'm not choosing them because we can always assume that there will be people there to help in major times of need.

I will be going with the news makers who never made major news. These are the people who were the most influential to me: the citizens who do more than what they are called to do.

Last month, I went to a township meeting for the town I live in. The local grocery store got an award for helping out the township with all of their functions, and donating the things that were needed during city sponsored events. The store also contributed to a fund to aide the families of fallen police officers. Then there was a gentlemen who got an award for saving a girl's life who was suicidal and was going to jump off of a local bridge into a creek. I ended up talking with him later that night, and he was saying how he had two small children waiting for him at home to be taken to school. He had brought the young woman into his car and insisted that he take her somewhere, since she refused to go with the police. Another man was honored for helping catch a man who had robbed a local jewelry store.

I am sure that there are plenty of people in the country that are like the above mentioned. They help aid the police and other emergency response teams. I am sure that when the average citizen wakes up in the morning, they only expect to go on their normal routine or the day that they had planned. No one expects to be diverted, especially when their is a life or death situation that might need immediate attention. In fact, who is that attentive while they are driving to spot a girl contemplating jumping off of a bridge? Or who leaps into action to help stop a robber? I am sure we never expect to be put in those type of situations. That is why my news makers of 2010 are the heroic and brave citizens who jump into action in the moment when they are not expecting to do so.

The Battle Between "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Holidays" - Nikki Lorenzini

This year, I have been hearing talk about the so called "War on Christmas." People who do not celebrate Christmas are offended over the phrase, and those who do are upset at the dismissal. I seen a website that showed how "Pro Christmas" companies were by the amount of times they mentioned "Merry Christmas" in advertising, and asked that those who don't, are boycotted.

As a Christian, I am truly conflicted over this controversy. On one hand, I am all for keeping the phrase Christmas around. I am confident in what I believe, and what Christmas is supposed to stand for. When I hear people "complain" (which is never, it is just portrayed to me via the media), it does cut to the core a bit since people do not get up in arms about Hanukkah or Kwanzaa.

There is also the problem that even though Christmas is a religious holiday, it also has turned into a secular holiday, in which, over the years, trading gifts became synonymous with the birth of Christ, and then slowly overshadowed it. Now it seems that it has become both an American holiday in which people buy gifts for each other, throw parties, etc. I think the lines of religious vs. secular have now become blurred, and what was once a religious holiday has now become PC so everyone can be at ease celebrating. I am not sure when this has happened, when a holiday that was supposed to be celebrating the birth of Christ was turned into a shopping extravaganza. Ever since I have become a Christian, the whole idea of receiving gifts during this time has totally turned me off. I know I am probably the exception with this.

In Philadelphia, at the City Hall, they have a Christmas Village where there are different vendors there selling their wares. There was a big to do there where people wanted "Christmas" to be taken down. It was for a few days, then put back up because people were made it was taken down. I went there about a week ago. Besides having over priced ornaments, it really didn't get me in the spirit. So having "Christmas" up or not, I  really don't think it would of mattered. The commercialism has gotten totally in the way of the season.

I will not get offended if someone tells me, "Happy Holidays." In fact, I have come to realize that "Happy Holidays" is an all encompassing phrase, not only to include Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, but has the non-religious, including New Years and Thanksgiving. Two holiday's that we all can enjoy, despite religious affiliations. When I am told "Happy Holidays," I will just return it with "Merry Christmas," and understand that they might not believe in the same Christmas as I do.

You Win Some, You Lose Some (or Gain Some) - Jeff Weiss

Last week I was pleased to learn that I had lost one pound after stumbling a bit while following the Weight Watchers plan.  I had expected to have gained more, and I vowed to follow the plan perfectly during the upcoming week.  That said, I can now tell you that it is almost impossible - at least for me - to completely follow any weight loss plan during the week of Christmas.  Last week brought about a full-on cookie assault as everyone I have ever met in my entire life wanted me to eat their freshly baked Christmas cookies.  I stumbled. I fell. And... I gained.

Again, I can't really complain as even after eating more than a few cookies, I only gained .8 pounds. I'm still ahead of the game.  My plan now is to continue to follow the plan "as best as I can" for this week, and then get right back on track the following week.  I know there will a lot of food to tempt me on Christmas, but I will make the best choices available. Just wait to see what I can do when January rolls around!

One Little Cookie... - Jeff Weiss

After having a great first week with Weight Watchers, I settled in for week two fully prepared to continue my weight loss journey the right way. And then there was that cookie. It all started with that one little cookie. I was at a Christmas party, and I had prepared by eating a healthy dinner before the party. I reasoned to myself that I would be full and not tempted by holiday treats, such as... cookies. But this was no ordinary cookie. It was a festive cookie, decorated to look like a Christmas tree. No matter where I went or what I did, that one little cookie was there. The cookie was in the corner of my eye while I was listening to a friend tell me about her exhaustive holiday shopping.  The cookie was in front of me when I reached over to get a glass of unsweetened iced tea.  The cookie was across the room, it's sugar coating glistening in the light as carolers sang in the background. Why was no one eating that cookie? Was the entire universe signaling for me to eat the cookie? Probably not, but I ate it anyway. And you know what happens when you eat one cookie - you eat a few more.

Two nights later, I found myself at another holiday party and this time it was a sit down dinner.  I panicked when I realized that antipasto, stuffed shells, meatballs, and garlic bread would be my only choices.  I took small portions and was actually proud of myself, when suddenly someone brought out a cookie tray.  After I consumed the third (or fourth) cookie, I realized that I would be weighing in at my meeting in 12 short hours.  I resigned myself to the fact that I had probably gained weight, and decided that I would spend the upcoming week following the Weight Watchers plan to a "T."  I went to my meeting, and... I lost a pound! Now, I'm no Nikki Lorenzini who's dropping pounds faster than she breathes, but I'm pleased with my progress.  And I will follow the plan exactly this week!

Slimming Down - Nikki Lorenzini

It has been two weeks since I have updated you guys about my Weight Watchers trek. The week of Thanksgiving I lost 9 lbs. Yes, 9, which put me down to a total 25 lb weight loss. Not sure how I did it. That was with me gorging on an ice cream sundae, Thanksgiving dinner, and barely any exercise. I am still baffled.

 

Then the website yelled at me. Saying I am loosing too much, too fast. So I ended up gorging on food purposely this week. Was horrible at tracking my food, and frankly, I tried not to care. After 3 weeks of my diet, I felt horrible acting this way. Really horrible. Not a horrible in the sick feeling. Horrible as in, I can't believe I acted that way after working so hard. There were days when I woke up not even hungry because I was so full from the night before. Not a fun feeling.

 

Even with that, I was still able to loose another 9 lbs this past week. Now I am up to almost 35 lbs lost. I am still baffled by that, and I am still waiting for myself to plateau. I only wish I could enjoy this more.

 

Besides that horrible feeling, my pants are actually feeling better. My co-worker told me the other day that my clothes don't look any different. I told her it was because I always wore long, loose tops, and never bothered getting new pants. Just squeezed into the ones I had. I have been more motivated to take the stairs instead of the elevator when I have to go into the basement at work. I actually feel better, and partly because I can breathe without feeling the need to work at it. That was only after loosing 25 pounds.

 

Now my next step is to look for a gym.

Change is Good - Jeff Weiss

Last week, I shared with you about how I joined Weight Watchers.  I joined the week the new "PointsPlus" system was unveiled, and I found it to be rather easy to follow.  Apparently others didn't feel the same way.

I knew I had to have lost a pound or two because I could feel it in my clothes - not to mention that I followed the plan to a tee.  It had to have worked, right? I went to the meeting, stepped on the scale and was told that I had lost 5.8 pounds.  I was happy, and felt a sense of an accomplishment.  I stayed for the meeting, where the Weight Watchers leader asked the group what they thought of the new point system as opposed to the old point system. I couldn't answer the question as I hadn't been on the old system, but I was curious about what the others thought. Oddly, no one answered the leader's question.  Next, she asked if anyone saw a change in their meal planning with the new program.  Again, no one replied, but I think I heard a cricket chirping in the distance.  Then the leader realized what I had already figured out: the members who had previously used the old points system didn't switch over to the new system when following the plan at home.  Instead, they continued to use the old formula.

At this point, the leader began to politely explain that she understands when people are reluctant to change, and that it took her a few weeks to adapt to the new program (Weight Watchers employees have been testing the new point system for a few months).  Most of the members explained that they are too busy this time of year to learn something brand new.  Finally, a member said she followed the new system reported that she felt more satisfied than she had previously.  I stated that I didn't have any problems following the plan, as I was able to check points values from my smart phone.  Apparently we were the only two in the meeting who had used the new system. 

The meeting drew to a close and the leader asked if anyone had anything to celebrate (Weight Watchers' polite way of asking if anyone has lost any weight), and the only two members that lost weight last week were the lady who felt satisfied on the new plan and myself.  Suddenly, the other members started opening their pocket guides to check out the PointsPlus plan.  Change isn't always easy, but it can be good.

Jumping on the Weight Loss Bandwagon - Jeff Weiss

 Count me in.  I'm joining Nikki and so many others who have committed to lose weight in the upcoming year.  And - again like Nikki - I've joined Weight Watchers.  Weight Watchers has been around for almost fifty years,
starting off as a neighborhood group meeting that eventually turned into large corporation with over forty thousand employees.  However, the philosophy is the same: people tend to lose more weight and keep it off when supported by a group as opposed to going it alone.  All of that sounded great to me, so I joined. 

I had a lot to learn at my first meeting, where I was greeted by friendly staff who explained that everyone is starting off new with me, as Weight Watchers has completely revamped their program for the first time in over a decade.  The meeting itself was informative, and the speaker (the Weight Watchers term is "leader") did a nice job of explaining the program.  It all seems pretty simple to me. Everything that is consumed is assigned a point value. Individuals have a daily point allotment that must be consumed.  So far, so good.

I'll check back next week to let you know my progress.

Islamic Terrorism, Oregon Style - David Loftus

For once, Oregon’s national (and potentially international) news story this weekend is not football or the latest domestic nutjob in a long line from the Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh to Tonya Harding. Surprisingly, it’s a Muslim terrorism story . . . at least, ostensibly.

Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a 19-year-old boy born in Somalia and until recently a student at Oregon State University (sorry about that Stanford game, boys), was arrested by Portland City Police and the FBI after trying to detonate what he thought was a bomb in a van parked next to the city’s “downtown living room,” Pioneer Courthouse Square, as the annual Christmas tree lighting ceremony, attended by thousands, was about to begin.

Pioneer Square is five blocks from my apartment, as the crow flies; eight if you walk the blocks properly. I was probably at home at the time. I’ve never gone to the tree lighting ceremony, though I’ve attended dozens of other events at the square over the years, including the Millennium party of New Year’s, 1999-2000.

Frankly, I don’t feel any more or less safe than I did two days ago. So far, I haven’t seen any sign that this kid posed a real threat, despite all the noise the feds and the media are making about his grandiose notions. The New York Times reported that in 2009 Mohamud made e-mail contact with a man believed to be a recruiter for terrorism. The man had returned to the Middle East from the U.S. -- first to Yemen, then to northwest Pakistan --but apparently he did not continue to respond Mohamud’s communications, let alone offer him assistance. The Oregonian reports that the “terrorist recruiter” referred Mohamud to another contact, but that person never responded to the boy’s messages.

Since then, the suspect’s only contacts have been with an undercover FBI agent posing as a terrorist contact. Now, I wouldn’t defend the kid on the basis of entrapment. It’s clear he meant business: he chose the Christmas holiday, he chose the event, and he wanted a bomb that would kill a lot of people. It’s just not clear, thus far, that he would ever have acquired the know-how or wherewithal to go through with his plan without advice and support from somebody. Actual terrorists never offered it; only the FBI did. I’ve pored over the news stories that have come out since, and though it's a little hard to read between the lines this early in the game, so far I haven’t seen anything that says the critical pieces of the puzzle -- the bomb components, real or fake -- were obtained by Mohamud from anyone but U.S. government employees.

Let’s retain a little perspective, folks. You’re still more likely to be killed by a drunk driver this holiday season than an act of terrorism. The authorities should have scotched this loser quietly. But that would have destroyed a golden opportunity to throw a new scare into the American public and justify the billions of dollars we’ve thrown at the Department of Homeland Security the past seven years, as well as other federal enforcement bodies.

They needed this kind of story badly, given the bad press the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) had been getting the past few weeks for its new airport screening measures. Never mind that the TSA would have done nothing to stop this kind of threat; simple-minded Americans who still think invading Iraq was a rational response to 9/11 will probably feel better about being groped by their fellow citizens this December.

The problem I see with these noisy stories about “the success of the government’s war on terrorism” is that it mainly provides lessons for future nutjobs on how to avoid making similarly stupid mistakes. Real, committed terrorists are going to succeed now and then, no matter what anyone does; I don’t see that there’s much we can do about them.

If the U.S. government is in fact tracking and catching those types, more power to ’em; but it should go about it quietly, because that’s the way to keep real terrorists and harmless nutjobs off balance. Terrorizing the American public over relatively harmless religious fanatics like Mohamud or screwups like Richard Reid (remember the “tennis-shoe bomber”?) is, in my opinion, counterproductive and unprofessional.

Black Friday Shopping - Jeff Weiss

Last year I wrote about the scene at my local mall on Black Friday.  The mall opened at midnight again this year, and I was there.  But, I also checked out a few other spots. I was curious if the slowly improving economy would trickle down to my local retail outlets, bringing more shoppers than in 2009.

My first stop was the mall.  I was there by 11:50pm and I found a line of about two hundred people waiting at the main entrance.  There were fewer people lined up at other mall entrances, but security guards were going to each entrance to inform shoppers that the only doors opening at midnight were the ones at the main entrance.  I asked a few people how long they had been in line and no one - not even people toward the front of the line - said they had been there for longer than an hour.  The weather forecast had brought predictions of a chilly and rainy Thanksgiving Day that would continue into Friday, but rain gave way to clouds early Thursday afternoon and by 11:55pm the temperate was a comfortable 53 degrees.  As I was checking the weather on my cellphone, the doors to the mall opened and people began to rush inside.

11:50 pm: Shoppers wait in line to get into the mall.

 The crowd this year was not as frenzied as last year.  Again, shoppers voiced their disappointment upon entering to find very few stores had opened at midnight.  Just as was the case last year, not one of the "anchor" department stores had opened early.  Even some of the old Black Friday standbys such as Radio Shack had their gates pulled shut. The midnight opening was for "select" stores. Others would open at 2am, and the entire mall would be open by 4am. At midnight, GameStop was a popular destination, but the shoe store only had a few people browsing.  The candle store was completely empty, but I don't know many people who'd venture out at midnight to buy a candle.  Most of the people in the mall were around the booth set up by a local radio station, where disc jockeys were broadcasting live as they gave away prizes to mall customers who correctly answered trivia questions. While there were more people in the mall this year compared to last, there didn't seem to be as many shoppers.  This year the mall seemed to be populated mostly by teenagers who were congregating near the entrance or the food court, but none of them were carrying shopping bags.  Maybe they were waiting for the candle store to start slashing prices.  I started to wonder were the real crowds were.

12:15 am: Lots of people, but not a lot of shopping at the mall.

 After a short drive across the street, I found those crowds - at WalMart.  The parking lot was packed, which was to be expected.  My local WalMart never closed on Thursday, but instead stayed open and started some of their Black Friday sales at midnight.  The scene outside was hectic.  The line stretched down so far I could not see where it ended.  Police stood by metal stanchions as a female WalMart employee stood in the bucket of a crane (yes, a crane) and counted the number of people leaving the store.  As people left, she shouted out the number of people exiting so the police could allow that same number of people into the store.  Oddly enough, the people leaving the store weren't pushing shopping carts overflowing with purchases, but instead were only carrying one or two items out of the store.  One woman left with only a blender. I hope she likes it, because I doubt I would have waited in line to have a woman in a crane tell me I can go inside a WalMart just to buy a blender.  I snapped a photograph of the line then tried to get a picture of the crane and stanchions, but a friendly police officer suggested that I "get in line or get out."  I chose to get out.

12:35 am: WalMart looking more like a crime scene than a shopping destination.

 Toys R Us is located in the same shopping center as WalMart, but there were so many cars trying to park in their lot, I gave up trying to see what was going on over there.  Instead, I drove around the block to another shopping center that has a Target and a Best Buy.  Because of the parking lot structure in that shopping center, I wasn't able to get any photos, but I saw about 75 people waiting for Target to open (this was at 12:45 am and the store wouldn't open for another three hours and fifteen minutes), many of them bundled up and sitting on lawn chairs.  The scene at Best Buy was similar, but there were about 150-200 people lined up to get into the big box retailer.  Again, many of them in lawn chairs - some were even in tents. 

By 1am I was ready to go home.  I hadn't bought a thing, but I observed that while more people appeared to have ventured out this year, fewer of them seemed to be buying anything.

Happy Thanksgiving

Last year, Nikki shared with us some of her favorite Thanksgiving memories.  A lot has changed over the last twelve months, and we thought it would be nice to reprint Nikki's article from last year.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is a time where family and friends get together to gorge out on food. Usually in my house, its just me and my immediate family getting together. But, one of my favorite Thanksgiving memories happened about four years ago. Earlier that year I had started going to a church in my neighborhood and I got really plugged into their young adults group. Every other Friday, they had a girls bible study. I became friends with all of them, and I was happy because I finally found some decent friends. So, at the beginning of the month, I got a crazy idea: have a potluck dinner at my house and invite all the girls. All 20-plus girls fit into my parents 4 bedroom, 2 story, middle class suburban home which has never seated (or was built to seat) 20 people in one room at once to eat a meal together.

I bought the turkey, all 25 pounds of it. Mind you, this was the first turkey I was making on my own, and during my then 23 years on the earth, never once watched my dad prepare the turkey. And, being cheap, I bought a cheap pan. Needless to say, there was turkey grease in my oven and I was out more money to buy another pan. I was cursing the dollar store pan, especially when I was strolling into the supermarket fighting with the lines. Then my friends started coming. And coming with all with their food. I don’t think I've ever seen that many pies in my life. The kitchen was getting over run with food, and it was starting to spill over into our dining room, which was already jam packed. The table that we had in our kitchen disappeared into the dinning room in between our dining room table with 3 folding tables being circled by a hodgepodge of chairs which even included heavy metal patio chairs. The food was great, and the turkey turned out well, despite me being overthrown of carving duty (being Italian and talking with both my mouth AND my hands- with a hug knife- not a good combo).

The best was when we were all able to sit around and actually tell each other what we were thankful for that year. It was more that just the food (which is a GREAT bonus), but it was more to see all of the good that was happening in our lives - to actually think of what we are thankful for. And at the end of the night, all 25 pounds of turkey were devoured, we had minimum left overs, I had plenty of help cleaning up, and I had proof that more than 20 girls can get together for a night and get along. I had a few get-togethers at my house since then. I've had barbecues, Christmas parties, and random get-togethers, but something about shoving all those people in one room makes people still talk. Even this weekend, my friends and I were talking about it when we got together and drug in furniture from my backyard. I know for some people this will be the norm today, and if that is the case, that is absolutely wonderful- and I mean that. There is something about surrounding yourself with people that you care about and being thankful for what you have. So no matter how many people you are meeting with, and even if you are sitting in lawn furniture in your dining room, try and make a memory of it. It’ll be worth it when you are still talking about it in years to come. 

Nikki's Journey Continues

I officially ended my second week of Weight Watchers. How has it been? I want to say it has gotten easier. Well, in one aspect it has gotten easier: me adjusting to eating less has gotten easier.

 

However, this is the week that I just didn't want to care. I didn't want to care that I shoved my face with a box of mac and cheese and a pack of Tasty Kake cupcakes (but I resisted, only had a cup of mac and cheese and no cupcakes). I also went to Friendly's, had a mint cookie crunch sundae, and didn't realize how bad it was. I mean, I knew sundaes were bad, I just didn't realize how bad. I'm just glad I didn't eat the whole thing.

 

Then I got sick. I ended up getting laryngitis and rested as much as I could. That ruled out me doing my exercise routine: going on a walk that lasts about 60 min. I was just plain ol' lazy. After getting used to walking, I kind of missed being so active and missed getting out of my routine.

 

So far, I am realizing that it is actually pretty easy to start a habit like this. Sure, it is really, really easy to break a habit. To start a habit, sure, it can be hard, but when you know you have a goal to reach, I am pretty sure that helps you jump start it. It also helps knowing that you are actually spending money to help you get on the right track.

 

Weight lost this week: 4 lbs

Overall weight lost: 14 lbs

Weight left to loose: 41 lbs

Starting a New Journey - Nikki Lorenzini

Last Tuesday I joined Weight Watchers. Yes, I joined the many people who have vowed to lose weight. However, I am not one of the normal ones, at least I don’t think. I actually joined the day after I came back from my cousins wedding in New Orleans, and I was one of the bridesmaids (don’t most people want to lose it before?). I also made a point to sign up before the holidays. My reasoning being, if I can do it during, then I can definitely do it after.

My goal: to lose 55 pounds. Crazy you might say. As you look at my picture, you might not think I don’t need to lose that much. If I can be so honest, my one pet peeve is people saying, “You don’t need to lose that much weight,” or, “You’re not that heavy.”  Yes, you might not think that, but I wear clothes to hide the extra pudge. However, you are not the one walking around with an extra 55 pounds, and being out of breath when you walk up a flight of stairs, with your legs feeling like jello. These 55 pounds might not seem too much in the sphere of things, but it is a lot to me. I am 27 years old. Young compared to most, old when I’m talking to my Sunday school kids. I would like to say that I want to lose this weight for vanity sake, but I am confident in the way I look. I also haven’t dated in 4 years, so the hope of picking up a man with my new, skinny looks isn’t my top priority.

So vanity aside, I need to do this for my health. 

However, being only 27 years old, I know that I need to get this weight problem kicked. It might only be 55 pounds, but I don’t want it to eventually be a 100+ pounds. I remember being in grade school and shocked when I got in the 100+ range. I really don’t want to go in the 200+ pound range. I am only 5’1”, so imagine that on my tiny frame. I know that in the years to come, it will get increasingly hard to lose this weight. Well, that is what I have everyone who is older than me telling me. I know the side effects: diabetes, problems conceiving, high blood pressure, etc. I definitely do not want my future plagued with medicine.

This is coming from the person who absolutely loves eating, cooking, and baking, and also forgetting I have a gym membership. I always thought that the people who were in the gym for hours (or at least seemed for hours), were crazy muscle heads. I’m realizing that I don’t have to spend hours on end in the gym. I live in the suburbs where I can easily go for a walk, or go to the park and talk a walk.  Start with the minimal and work myself up to something more, like running. Well, I hope to start running one day. 

Every week I hope to have an updated blog with how I am doing. So far to date, in the week I have been doing it, I have lost 10 pounds. Not too bad for someone who loves food. 

My Year of Proust, part 2 - David Loftus

No question, the word for À la recherche du temps perdu is monumental.

Unlike other sprawling works that intimidate readers (say, Ulysses or Gravity’s Rainbow), Proust’s masterpiece does not range across vast fields of knowledge. You won’t encounter tons of geography, history, or the sciences (although there’s a bit about music, literature, and medicine, since Proust’s father was a renowned physician). The author’s not putting that kind of erudition on display.

Rather, Proust takes a microscope, in effect, to a particular era and place (Paris and the northwest coast of France -- Normandy, mostly) in the last few decades of the 19th century, and the mores and inner lives of mostly upper-middle-class and aristocratic folks in that milieu. He also gives us a vivid, specific, and detailed peek into the thoughts, judgments, fears, notions, and insecurities of his narrator -- a person very much like the author but not exactly him.

The narrator will take pages and pages to describe the delicate sparring of attendees at a cocktail party; his goofy relatives of a still earlier era; the time it takes him to make this or that decision, and all the thought processes that went into it; and above all, the excruciating jealousy he feels about the behavior of his lower-class mistress (and similarly painful affairs between other men and women -- and some men and men -- of his acquaintance). Proust takes you deeply into a different world, peopled by folks who nevertheless make the same mistakes of love, judgment, gossip, self-contradiction, and social insecurity that you do.

But you have to adjust to a different pace of reading: rich, luxuriant, and leisurely. It is as if Wagner’s Ring Cycle had been composed by Debussy. Even a reader like myself, who has never cracked a Tom Clancy, Danielle Steele, Dan Brown, or Twilight novel, can find his mind wandering if he doesn’t concentrate steadily on Proust’s complicated, meandering, digressive sentences.

I often catch myself having to back up to reread a long sentence, paragraph, even a whole page -- more than once. (Just so you know what you’re up against, I counted the words and punctuation marks in a sample sentence in vol. 3: with the help of 15 commas, 4 em-dashes, 1 semicolon, 1 colon, and 1 parenthetical, Proust rattles out a 338-word sentence … in English translation, of course, but I assume the translating team mimicked his style.)

Every once in a while, something crackles. It may be an Oscar Wilde- or Mark Twain-like maxim:

·      … the regularity of a habit is often in direct proportion to its absurdity.

·      Like everyone who is not in love, he imagined that one chooses the person that one loves after endless deliberation and on the strength of diverse qualities and advantages.

·      There is a special kind of look, apparently of recognition, which a young man receives from certain women—and from certain men—only until the day on which they have made his acquaintance and have learned that he is the friend of people with whom they too are intimate.

·      Illness is the most heeded of doctors: to kindness and wisdom we make promises only; pain we obey.

·      It would be untrue to say that she was a fool; she overflowed with a kind of intelligence that I had no use for.

·      One becomes moral as soon as one is unhappy.

·      Everything we think of as great has come to us from neurotics. It is they and they alone who found religions and create great works of art.

·      We do not receive wisdom, we must discover it for ourselves, after a journey through the wilderness which no one else can make for us, which no one can spare us, for our wisdom is the point of view from which we come at last to regard the world.

·      … theories and schools, like microbes and corpuscles, devour one another and by their strife ensure the continuity of life.

·      … in my cowardice I became at once a man, and did what all we grown men do when face to face with suffering and injustice: I preferred not to see them… .

·      “Love?” she had once replied to a pretentious lady who had asked for her views on love, “I make it often but I never talk about it.”

·      We are all of us obliged, if we are to make reality endurable, to nurse a few little follies in ourselves.

Or it may be an extended passage that reminds me of a deeply emotional experience, or complex thought or desire, that I’ve had in my own life. The other day, I read a passage where the narrator says that once he suspected his lover had been physically intimate with a notorious lesbian, “I should have liked, not to tear off her dress to see her body, but through her body to see and read the whole diary of her memories and her future passionate assignations.”

Somehow, this reminded me of a similarly impossible wish; what might qualify as a Proustian desire: to go back and relive my first meeting with my future wife and the memorable women before her. Not to live in that time, but just to re-experience what I could not have known then was a momentous encounter in my life, and, this time, see what I can see in it, knowing what I would come to know and feel later. Could I perceive how vital this particular woman would come to be for me in time? Would I recognize certain deeply cherished tics in her (or in me) when things were still so casual and tentative? I think it would feel a little like the anticipatory joy one experiences when rereading the opening pages of a favorite book, or watching the first scenes of a beloved movie one has already seen many times.

I was also a little surprised, given my expectation that I would read about effete parties and passionate affairs and the behavior and furnishings of a distant time … how honestly and regularly Proust brings it all back to why he sought for decades to recapture the past, in memory and on the page: because he feared death, just as I do, and just as anyone who has any self-awareness should, in order to guide one’s choices during the brief time we are alive. Love, beauty, and memory make it almost bearable.

That’s what it’s all about, really.

See part 1, In Search of Proust Time

In Search of Proust Time - David Loftus

I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna finish Proust this year.

Last night I started “The Captive,” volume 5 of the 7 volumes of what has long been known in English as Remembrance of Things Past. For those of you who did not major in either English lit or French, the more literal translation of Marcel Proust’s masterpiece, À la recherche du temps perdu, is In Search of Lost Time, but the first English translator, a Scot named Charles Kenneth Scott Moncrieff, cribbed a phrase from the second line of Shakespeare’s sonnet 30 for the title of his version in the 1920s. There was no other English edition (or corrected title) for nearly 60 years.

The work is 3,200 pages long (4,300 in the Modern Library version I’m reading) and contains more than 2,000 characters. Proust labored over it for most of the final 13 years of his life. Graham Greene called Proust “the greatest novelist of the twentieth century, just as Tolstoy was in the nineteenth,” and Maugham called this book “the greatest fiction to date.” Given that his health had not been good since childhood (he was a severe asthmatic) Proust may have been lucky to get even three of the seven volumes published before he died of pneumonia and a pulmonary abscess in 1922, at the age of 51 (my age, in fact!).

Many of my friends have expressed admiration that I have tackled the thing -- more than one has called me brave -- but it’s been a long time coming. (And I know people who have read it multiple times, some even in the original French, which is far beyond me . . . * sigh *.) I think I first attempted to read Proust the summer after high school graduation, and didn’t get much beyond the first volume. Several years later, I got through two or three books. I didn’t finish because I had to return them to the library in Coos Bay, Oregon because the summer was over and I had to get back to college. As recently as three or four years ago, I had another bash, with the comfort of having purchased paperback copies of the first three volumes and therefore fearing no time pressures. I raced through “Swann’s Way” (the first volume) for the third or fourth time, and then wandered off again.

2010 would be it, I told myself toward the end of last year. I got a running start by opening “Swann’s Way” a couple days before Dec. 31, and managed to whip through the first three books in January and early February. But things got especially slow in the middle of volume 4 (despite the racy title on that one, “Sodom and Gomorrah”), and it didn’t help that I was memorizing lines and rehearsing for a production of “King Lear.” I wandered off (literarily speaking -- I was still reading dozens of other books) yet again.

But with the calendar ticking away, I figured I’d better get moving again or fail yet again. So a week ago I picked up volume 4 (the bookmark was still tucked where I’d stopped) and was off to the races. Tomorrow, I’ll describe a little of my experience of Proust, so far.

Go to part 2, My Year of Proust

It Was a Very Wordy Year - David Loftus

A year ago today, I posted my first commentary to “American Currents.” It was a piece about a proposal to change Halloween to a floating holiday. Instead of always being on the 31st, “All Hallows’ Eve” would be pinned to the final Saturday of October every year, for the convenience of retailers. It’s been a long and interesting 365 days ever since; I’m taking the anniversary as an opportunity to look back.

On October 9, 2009 I responded to a Craigslist ad titled “Seeking Bloggers.” The poster, Jeff Weiss, replied immediately and explained that he envisioned a blog staffed by a team of about five writers from different parts of the country, who would post daily commentaries on topics of social, political, economic, and cultural import in the U.S. on a rotating basis. He suggested that each of us commit to doing three essays a week.

I suspected that most of the eventual participants would be young and liberal, and I strongly urged Jeff to find at least one conservative commentator to foster a lively exchange and a potentially broader array of readers. I also came up with the name “American Currents” and volunteered to proof and edit the other writers’ copy, so Jeff honored me with the title of “supervising editor.”

Privately, I doubted the thing would last long -- most probably it would end up being little more than a vanity project for the writers and its founder -- but the opportunity for “ten-finger calisthenics” appealed to me. Apart from the discipline of having to research and write brief reactions to breaking news topics assigned to me, I constantly had ideas flitting through my brain with no suitable place to put them.

For nearly six months, we made a decent go of it. The other folks stuck to their two or three pieces a week, but I tried to write more often, and often did -- sometimes having to hammer something out between midnight and one in the morning. Among many other things, we wrote about:

·      the Amanda Knox verdict

·      the sexting suicide of Jessica Logan

·      a proposal to move Guantanamo terror suspects stateside

·      health care reform introduced to Congress

·      the New Mexico funeral home horror

·      the National Enquirer’s hope for a Pulitzer for breaking the story of John Edwards’s affair

·      the scientific validity of global warming

·      the tragic death of a trainer in the jaws of a killer whale at Sea World

·      the Louisiana lebians-at-the-prom flap

·      the Westboro Baptist Church crazies and the First Amendment

and many other topics. We even wrote several times about Obama and the Super Bowl.

[I have provided links only to my particular commentaries; the site is not easy to get around, so if you want to see what other people wrote, or the questions as Jeff put them to us, you’ll have to go to the Home page and click on “Prev” at the bottom of each page to work your way back to the relevant dates.]

Several personalities offered (or forced) opportunities for multiple visitations: Sarah Palin’s Newsweek cover, the so-called “Visor-gate,” her demurral that she’s not a candidate for President in 2012, her mini spat with “Family Guy,” the source of her mysteriously enduring popularity, and whether Palin and her conservative cohorts are seditious; and Tiger Woods’s Thanksgiving weekend embarrassment, and his decision to take a time-out from golf. By the time his televised apology rolled around, I was so uninspired to write about Woods that I treated it as a Winter Olympics sport, which made it more fun.

Cultural events such as the movies “2012” and “Avatar” offered the chance to talk about larger issues. Often, Jeff asked us to address events and personalities I wouldn’t have heard of otherwise, such as Meredith Baxter’s coming out, the New York City EMT controversy, the teacher’s aide fired after nude photos were circulated from her lost cell phone, John Mayer’s Playboy interview, Rielle Hunter’s GQ “revelations” about her affair with John Edwards, and the Minnesota man indicted for encouraging suicides over the Internet. Occasionally I grabbed the chance to write about topics of my own choosing, including atheism in America.

At the end of April, Jeff said he was giving up the blog. It was too much work coming up with a topic of the day, every day, with a graphic and getting us to respond. The hit numbers weren’t climbing as high as he’d hoped. After a week or two, I decided I’d continue to write for “American Currents,” and invited the other commentators to contribute on a looser, more personal basis.

Again, as I suspected, output from the others dropped considerably, and “American Currents” has all but become my personal blog. I’ve written series about recycling redeemable cans and bottles in my apartment building, and my experiences as an actor in 48-Hour Film Festival contests (both series technically unfinished), as well as bigger local and national news stories like the disappearance of Kyron Horman, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the WikiLeaks release of Afghanistan war documents, the national bed bug infestation, and the Veterans for Peace “obscene” protest of the wars on October 3 (a three-parter). There have also been very personal accounts of my thoughts while walking, an attack on canned music, and the description of an incident in which I called out the police on a girl I saw on the street.

Now that a year has passed, I’m surprised to find I pounded out more than 64,000 words in nearly 150 short essays. They’ve gotten fewer but longer and more personal as we moved beyond the original format designed by Jeff: when you choose want you want to talk about, there’s less chance of having almost nothing to say, as happened, for instance, with Super Bowl ads and Toyota’s massive car recall, which merited just 59 and 57 words, respectively, from me.

I look forward to another interesting and thought-provoking year.

The Great American Circus - David Loftus

I don’t watch much television news anymore (never mind television in general), but searching for election coverage earlier this week I happened to catch a disturbing local story.

Four adults (I use the term advisedly) were arraigned in McMinnville, a town of 32,000 about 35 miles southwest of Portland, on a variety of criminal charges that stem from an incident in which they apparently urged a pair of 9-year-old boys into a violent fight in front of a video camera.

They uploaded the result onto Facebook. Someone in Pennsylvania saw the clip and phoned the McMinnville Police Department, which resulted in arrests on charges of criminal mistreatment, assault, reckless endangering, endangering the welfare of a child, and strangulation. Some of these charges resulted from a search of the two apartments where the children lived, which authorities described as “extremely filthy,” with rotten and insufficient food, and drug paraphernalia. The accused, two men and two women, were not teenagers; three are in their 30s and the last is 22.

I saw a brief clip on the TV report of two little boys punching and kicking each other while adult voices could be heard egging them on. Though taken into protective custody by social workers, the children were said not to be seriously hurt. But this incident appears symptomatic of larger, unhealthy changes in how many Americans see themselves and the world around them. These grownups (again, a relative term) regarded their kids as tools for entertaining themselves and others (much the way Michael Vick treated pit bull dogs before his conviction) -- for gaining attention from the great wide world out there. And they sought to reproduce the sort of violent thrills they probably derive from television, movies, and video games. The problem is that they were using vulnerable, dependent, and growing human beings entrusted by law to their care and training as tools.

Humans have always had a problem distinguishing between fiction and truth … art and reality … entertainment and news. Over the years I’ve enjoyed collecting stories about such confusion. A woman who visited Modigliani’s studio roughly a century ago noticed a work in progress on an easel and commented, “But surely this woman’s arm is too long?” The artist replied: “Excuse me, madame; that is not a woman, that is a painting.” Magritte made the same point with his painting “The Treachery of Images” -- you know, the one that pictures a smoking pipe with the legend below: “Ceci n’est pas une pipe.” Similarly, a man verbally attacked Picasso because, like too many other artists of the time, he did not paint things “the way they really are.” The complainer took a photo of his daughter out of his wallet and showed it to the artist, saying, see -- this looks just like her; why can’t you do that? Picasso gazed at the photo for a moment and remarked, “Small, isn’t she?”

More recently, in the late 1980s, I heard a story on National Public Radio about a man who went stomping into a sheriff’s office in Pennsylvania to complain that an Amish farmer had refused to pose for the tourist’s camera with his wife and kids. The deputy on duty patiently explained that the farmer was a member of a spiritual community that chooses to live their lives in a certain simple way, free of modern technologies, and he was under no obligation to do as a passerby demanded. The tourist was flabbergasted; he said: “You mean, they aren’t PAID to do this?”

It is as if he, like many other Americans, regarded anything outside the cocoon of his home as one big Disneyland. And why shouldn’t he? That’s the message from the news (which shamelessly conflates stories about local shootings and fires with “reports” about the latest developments among the network’s hit shows and stars), to advertising (“These burgers/coffee drinks/vacations/homes/furniture/babes, etc., etc. are ALL MADE OR EXIST JUST FOR YOU!!!”), to movies (“there are millions of threats out there just itching to GET you, from vampires and terrorists and aliens and evil politicians to global warming, but our handsome leading guy and gal will deal with them in less 2 hours, so you don’t have to worry or do a thing -- just enjoy your fears!”). Through all these avenues, corporate America is teaching Americans to be passive slug consumers who are responsible for nothing and entitled to everything.

How does this relate to our losers in McMinnville? They couldn’t let entertainment stay where it was: a product manufactured by experts. They wanted in on the action. And as long as a video of their kids hurting each other got attention from thousands, possibly even millions, of fellow American viewers, that made the bruises and blood no more real or hurtful than the vivid violence on their computer and plasma screens. Converting real life into entertainment both validates and objectifies it into something more -- and less -- than real.

Because real just isn’t good enough. Or magic enough. Or interesting enough.