Tales from the Portland Streetcar, 2019 edition, part 2

Apr. 16: I was doing passenger counts on an A Loop streetcar this afternoon when I noticed a young man wrestling with a map, and another rider struggling to help him with directions.

I went over and explained to him how to get to the airport from where we were, and that I’d be on board to alert him at the transfer point.

He had an odd, sort-of-but-not-really-British accent, so I asked him where he was from. South Africa, he said. But he works in Dubai and was visiting Portland for three days on business. He liked our city very much.

I asked him what he like most. He said the people are very friendly and relaxed, and it seemed like a fairly safe place, compared to Africa—though Dubai is the safest city in the world, he added.

That has its good and bad sides, I observed, and he agreed.

Apr. 17: Carole and I were getting off a streetcar at NW 10th and Couch to go to Temple Beth Israel for a lecture on Bob Dylan. I waved at the train operator, who said:

“You look weird without your hat.”

I replied: “I always look weird.” To which he responded: “You said it.”
Her: “Good balance.”
It’s either a small world . . . or maybe everybody comes through Portland eventually. . . .

Tales from the Portland Streetcar, 2019 edition, part 1

Jan. 21: A little thing like a transient napping on the streetcar with his shoes up on the seat opposite him can really set your teeth on edge.

Another little thing like an infant in a stroller, absentmindedly chewing on a loop of yarn poking out of his blanky, slowly and automatically, as he stares about the train, can make you smile again.

Feb. 4: I used my work tablet to take a selfie. It was obligatory, I felt; proper customer service.
It started on the NS line shortly before 2 p.m. when a tiny elderly lady got on at either NW 22nd or NW 21st and Lovejoy, and asked me if I could tell her whether she’d be able to catch an A Loop train across the river. I called up the real-time interactive rail map on my tablet and told her there was an A Loop car at PSU which should hit the Pearl in 12 to 15 minutes.

She seemed a little concerned about whether she risked missing the connection if she got off at NW 11th and Johnson or NW 13th and Lovejoy, so I suggested we de-board at the latter, and I could escort her the 4 blocks to the A Loop platform at 9th. Snowflakes had been falling since 1:15, and though the snow wasn’t sticking the flakes were coming down harder.

I was thinking about walking, she said. I had to give up my car when I fell and broke my hip 10 years ago. Even able-bodied people don’t do enough walking, I agreed.

I offered her my arm to leave the train. Once we were on the sidewalk I said, “You can tell your friends we’re dating; it’ll be our secret.” She laughed and said she wished she had a picture to show them, so I said I’d try to take a selfie of the two of us.

She set a pretty good pace for her age and size. We got to talking about travel, and she said she hoped to make one last trip to Palm Desert to visit her “baby brother.” How old is he, I asked. 89, she said. Oh, he’s just a spring chicken, I said. Then she told me she’s 92.

Your mother must be very proud of you, she remarked, apropos of nothing in particular. Oh, I don’t know, I said; my two brothers are a lot more respectable than I am. I’m the renegade of my family of six too, she said. But I got to do a lot of things I wouldn’t have done if I’d given in to my fears. A lot of people are ruled by fear, I agreed with her.

When we got to the A Loop platform, I managed to figure out how to take a dual selfie of us and obtained her email address. I feel duty-bound to report the customer’s assessment was: “You’re adorable.”

Oh, Lord . . . He's Never Going to Stop, Is He? (Best Puns and Wordplay of 2019)

It’s been another great (or awful) year for Loftus puns and wordplay. Here’s this year’s lineup. . . .

Jan. 3: Bryan looked at his laptop, then at his tablet, then at his mobile . . . and got a synch-ing feeling.

Jan. 7: It gradually dawned on Herman that perhaps he had made a mistake going into avian dentistry.

Why?
Beak ahs.

Jan. 12: So glad I’m not wealthy. I’d hate to have to split heirs.

Jan. 17: I was hoping to land a membership in that hot new health club . . . but I got weight listed.