Cannibalism or Homosexuality? Whattaya Asking Me For? - David Loftus

Several nights ago I found myself in a conversation of the sort one usually has at a bar in college or in one’s twenties. I’m not that young anymore and most of the time I only go to bars with my wife, so I don’t often run into this sort of thing these days. But a little bar-hopping comes with my work: as an actor, it’s useful to schmooze and network in order to find out what projects are developing in town, and to remind people I’m active and available. And there tend to be a lot more actors and filmmakers in their 20s and 30s at these events than in my age group.

A guy I know slightly pulled a friend and me over from our conversation to ask us a question his circle had been discussing: Would you sooner experiment with homosexuality or cannibalism? My friend—a young woman—unhesitatingly responded homosexuality. The questioner turned to the rest and said, you see? I gather he was arguing either that females are more open to bisexual experiences or they’re more squeamish about the notion of eating human flesh, while (young, hetero) males tend to be more nervous about homosexual contact … to an extent that they’re more likely to consider eating human flesh as an alternative.

I told them I was not particularly bothered by either. For political or eco-ethical reasons I’ve pretty much given up eating meat aside from fish and shellfish, but in the past I’ve eaten beef tongue and heart, rabbit, steak tartare, LOTS of raw oysters, gazelle meat, and other exotic flesh. So long as no laws had been broken in the procurement and preparation, I wouldn’t necessarily balk at eating cat, dog, or human. (On the other hand, human dignity and civil rights are essential parts of the equation: When one of those “Bodies” exhibitions came to town, featuring actual human figures preserved by rubberization processes after donation by the Chinese government, which could not satisfactorily verify their provenance—prior permission given? deceased with no family? executed prisoners?—I deliberately chose not to attend … despite, and even because of, intense curiosity.)

As for homosexual contact, I can remember the notion bothering me a lot more—in a sense, it was unimaginable—when I was younger, but much of that concern faded steadily away after I was 30 and 40 … ironically, during the period it became less likely ever to happen because I’m happily married. In any case, I found the premise of “experimentation” rather stupid. Either I’d feel like doing it, or I wouldn’t.

The discussion brought back to me a couple of notices I’d read in the Hollywood press over the years. I should say up front that I’m recalling these from memory and I can’t verify their accuracy absolutely; they’re small enough that they might not even be recorded anywhere on the Internet, but the names and the basic scenarios have stayed in my memory.

I remember reading that Will Smith was reported as having considered a script which called for him to kiss another man. Worried about what to do, he had gone to Denzel Washington for advice and Washington, as I recall, told Smith in no uncertain terms to turn down the role—it could adversely affect his image. I felt ashamed of both of them, as actors and as men: afraid to step on a bridge that Michael York had easily crossed back in 1972 with “Cabaret.”

In contrast, an interviewer once asked Jeremy Irons if he had ever had sex with a man. His response went something like: regrettably, no, he had never had that opportunity. That struck me as a classy way to deal with such parlor-game subjects.