Part of my free-lance income for the past five years has
come from proofreading and editing copy for several Web companies that generate
content for the Internet. The subject matter runs from real estate and
investment strategies to gardening and dental/orthodontic treatments.
Of course I regularly run across delightful typos that might
be blamed either on an enthusiastic and hasty writer or unhelpful meddling by
auto-correct. Whichever the case, here are some of the doozies from last year .
. . along with my “editorial” comments.
February 10: “If you have been given
anesthetic, it should wear off in a few hours. Please be careful not to bite
your check or tongue.”
Banks
can be so squeamish about teeth marks on the paperwork.
April 22: “… allowing realtors to
hint at features everyone will be clambering for in a year or two….”
Has
the housing market become so competitive that house hunters have to beat one
another up a rock wall to land the home of their dreams?
June 1: I was proofreading a
dental-care website last night that assured patients “piece of mind.” So this
practice does cheapie lobotomies on the side?
August 26: “_______ has always had a
wonderful smile, but because of the condition of his teeth he would always
cover his mouth or just refuse to smite.”
I
can understand that. It’s tough to grin fiendishly while you’re raping and
pillaging when you know you have bad teeth. . . .
September 29: Great. Spell check just
changed my reference to Monday’s holy day to “Fish Hashanah.”
October 16: “You need a continuous,
quality presence to get the most out of your Twitter page. Tweet engaging posts
with images, questions, links, and cleverly demised sayings.”
Yep.
Nothing gets a reader’s attention like a witty death.
October 30: Here’s a somewhat imperfect
choice of words I’m highly tempted to leave in place. It’s talking about how to
do team building between sales and marketing departments in your firm if they’ve
been working at cross purposes:
“If
you’re in Colorado, a day trip to a ski resort can be an excellent icebreaker.”
November 4: I suspect it’s autocorrect
that’s been responsible for my seeing this not-necessarily-inaccurate typo now
and then:
“I
like to spend my free time with my finance, Harry.”
November 22: “_____ Institute
researchers looked at 24 months of data from 2014 to 2016 to manufacture their
results….”
No.
That’s not the verb you want here.
December 2: Tip for raising the curb
appeal of a house you want to sell: Replace the front door. Of course, “If your
door is in great shape and you don’t have the money for a new one right now,
just add a coat of pain.”
Not
sure I can see how that would boost potential homebuyers’ interest.
December 12: “S.M.A.R.T is an acronym
used by entrepreneurs and serious goal setters which stands for Specific,
Measureable, Actionable, Realistic, and Timely. These are the five tenants you’ll
use for goals that will stand the test of time.”
You
mean I have to LIVE with them, or just rent out a room?
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