Editing and proofreading is detail work that can be tiring. One of the compensations is the perennial potential for running across a typo that creates a hilarious image or self-contradiction — a sort of natural pun.
After I posted the best ones from last year, I realized I had not collected up the beauties from the year before. So here they are. . . .
Jan. 4: “It’s common for toddlers to be weary of strangers….”
No kidding. Especially if they want to talk investment strategies or tax policy.
No kidding. Especially if they want to talk investment strategies or tax policy.
Jan. 25: Tonight I was spot editing a website for a dentist in Florida and discovered one of the icons on her Home page that’s supposed to link to a professional ratings site directs instead to the review for an OB/GYN in the state of Washington who happens to have the same name.
I notified the in-house project manager for the site and commented: “I understand different orifices are involved.”
I notified the in-house project manager for the site and commented: “I understand different orifices are involved.”
Feb. 5: Online review of a business by a satisfied customer: “The entire staff treats you like famy.”
Is that supposed to be “fame” or “famine”?
Is that supposed to be “fame” or “famine”?
Feb. 14: Best typo of the day: a person reports that he volunteers his time at the “Bong Crosby Theater” in Spokane.
Well, that IS the big new cash crop in the Pacific Northwest these days. . . .
March 6: Adventures in Editing, episode 347: “As a lifelong Wisconsin native….”
You mean he NEVER attempted to change his birthplace? Not once?
You mean he NEVER attempted to change his birthplace? Not once?
May 10: I ran across a new coffee-table-style book at the library titled The Coen Brothers: the iconic filmmakers and their work, unofficial and unauthorized by a British author, Ian Nathan, and a British publisher, Aurum Press in London.
Beautifully designed and lavishly illustrated, it turns out to consist mostly of magazine trivia and interviews: interesting, sure, but not terribly deep.
What’s most unfortunate are the plentiful editorial goofs — assuming anyone DID edit the manuscript — for example:
- The “palate” of Miller’s Crossing is said to be rich, antique browns, greens, and greys (p. 39)
- Holly Hunter plays Penny with “vice-like” singlemindedness (p. 100), which is a homonym-inspired error I see often in my web editing work, and sometimes even in published books
- At the height of their powers, the reports of Hollywood columnists Hedda Hopper and Louella Parsons were “poured over” by millions (p. 167), a similar common homonymic mistake
May 20: I’m proofreading a website on which one of the staff members reported she likes to relax with “a good glass of presaco.”
I’m cutting her off.
May 22: One of the challenges of proofreading bios on people’s business web sites is to fix typos and confusing punctuation while trying to preserve as much as the person’s “voice” as possible.
Here someone wrote, “you could say I’m a trivia wiz.” The odds are that she meant “whiz,” as in the century-old term for a clever person. People often spell words, especially slang terms, as they hear them rather than in accordance with their sense.
But perhaps she thought “wiz” is short for “wizard.”
What to do? Fix what may well be a typo to reflect what the person meant, or leave it as a potentially thought-provoking slang neologism?
June 3: “I’m a member of ‘Crochet Unto Others,’ a group that creates and donates hats, gloves, and scares” to homeless and poor people.
That’s nice, but do they really need that last item? What if you foster a dependency?
That’s nice, but do they really need that last item? What if you foster a dependency?
June 22: I just changed a photo caption that read “Western yellowjacket on cabbage leaf, praying on insect,” because I just didn’t have time to inquire whether it was a Lutheran or Presbyterian.
Probably a typo that wasn’t intended as a witty sorta pun. . . .
June 25: To reduce a snoring problem, “Have your child blow his or her noise every night before bed.”
Would a kazoo be sufficient, or should I purchase a brass instrument for my kid?
Would a kazoo be sufficient, or should I purchase a brass instrument for my kid?
June 27: “______ has three children. They are all gown up now….”
You mean they’re all graduating today? Or they all practice surgery?
July 11: “… They are all super friendly and knowledgeable. My kids are always greeted as soon as they walk into the door….”
I hope they also receive immediate first aid!
I hope they also receive immediate first aid!
Aug. 1: “She loves … finding treasures at flea markets she can breathe new life into.”
How do the flea markets feel about it?
How do the flea markets feel about it?
Aug. 24: “… my family is of Caribbean decent.”
Okay, but are they ALL decent?
Okay, but are they ALL decent?
Aug. 24: “As a wind musician, she also has a unique understanding on how orthodontics can affect the embrasure….”
Huh. I never had any trouble storming the castle when I played the clarinet.
[For those of you who were never in band or orchestra, the word they wanted there was “embouchure.”]
[For those of you who were never in band or orchestra, the word they wanted there was “embouchure.”]
Aug. 25: We dropped into Phó Van Fresh for a bite, and I noticed the big menu on the wall included the entrée “Eggplant (vegetarian).”
I pointed this out to Carole and added, “It may even be gluten-free.”
I pointed this out to Carole and added, “It may even be gluten-free.”
So when does she have time to do any work at the office?
“… and traveling internationally with her soccer team Vintage Lightening.”
Does that mean they are always on a diet as well as practicing their corner kicks?
Oct. 1: “He received his undergraduate Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Florida….”
Really? I’m impressed.
From which high school and postgraduate institutions did he obtain bachelor’s degrees?
Nov. 17: “… If you don’t know what your competition is planning, you could be blind sighted.”
I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with the condition . . . but it doesn’t sound good.
Nov. 27: In a piece about insomnia and sleep deprivation, the writer typed the following priceless piece of advice:
“From a mental perspective, you want to hit the hay with a clear conscious.”
“From a mental perspective, you want to hit the hay with a clear conscious.”
And stay that way, all night long!
Dec. 16: From a website for gardeners and landscapers to warn against spraying pesticides during a weather inversion:
“Look for a lawyer of low-lying clouds or smoke….”
“Look for a lawyer of low-lying clouds or smoke….”
Geez, those guys can be a real pain in the rear, you know?
Dec. 16: “For homeowners armed with a smartphone, apps — often accompanied by physical hardware….”
I’m more interested in tech hardware that’s intangible, please.
Dec. 19: “I have two grown sons who bring me great joy and have been happily married to my husband for many years.”
That’s a pretty interesting arrangement. Do you all get along?
That’s a pretty interesting arrangement. Do you all get along?
Dec. 26: “Latest research show that these pathogens have been linked to a number of other diseases such as cardiovascular disease, rheumatoid arthritis, low birth weight, babies, and diabetes.”
Wow. And all this time, I thought it was the stork.
Wow. And all this time, I thought it was the stork.
Dec. 28: “X-rays cleaning and meeting the dentist was quick but did not feel rushed.”
He let you do that to him, did he?
He let you do that to him, did he?
* * * * *
If this sort of foolishness appeals to you, check out:
Oh … Man … I Can’t Believe I Wrote That! . . . . (best typos of 2019)
OMG … Did I Really Type That? (best typos of 2017)
Ummm . . . That’s Not What I Meant to Say (best typos of 2016)
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