A Weighty Goal: David Loftus

Guinness should declare here and now that it will not only not list Donna Simpson, 42, of Old Bridge, New Jersey as the new record holder even if she beats the current champion, but that it is retiring the category permanently. The company should not only offer no encouragement to a 5-foot-4-inch woman who currently weighs 604 pounds and already holds the record for world’s fattest mother (she gave birth in 2007 when she weighed a mere 532 pounds, and required a team of 30 doctors to assist the delivery), but it should actively discourage her.

This woman is basically choosing to commit suicide, slowly, in public. However she may publicize this ridiculous endeavor, and in whatever bright colors she may paint it in her own conscious mind, choosing to balloon from an insane 600 pounds to an inconceivable half a ton is little more than a particularly rarefied form of despair. Simpson has decided she literally has nothing else to live for but performing … well, not self-mutilation, but I guess you could call it self-inundation: she’s going to smother herself in her own flesh. A normal person’s Body Mass Index is 19-24, while a BMI of 40 is classified as morbidly obese; but Simpson’s BMI is currently 103.9! A licensed dietician, Beth Lanzisera, was quoted in news stories as regarding Simpson’s irritated skin, arthritic conditions in joints, and serious cardiovascular risks as “worrisome.” No kidding?

How does this ostensibly unemployed woman afford the $750 a week that constitutes her grocery bill? She earns it on a Web site where viewers pay to watch her eat fast food and pose scantily clad in photos and videos. The “entertainment” and news outlets who have beaten a path to her door since she announced her mission --“Entertainment Tonight” in the lead and Oprah, Dr. Phil, and “Inside Edition” reportedly close behind -- are doing nothing more than ghoulishly assisting a suicide, not to mention the premeditated orphaning of her daughter. When this woman dies (not if, and I’m willing to bet it will happen within 3 years and she will not have reached her goal), they should be prosecuted as accessories to murder. Really.