The Curious Case of Tiger Woods: David Loftus

I’m eager to write about this, but I’m also annoyed. I’m eager to write about it because I’m annoyed. I’m not annoyed by the behavior of Mr. and Mrs. Woods -- it’s none of my business, really -- but by the sustained noise about their misadventure in the news media. To make a proper comment on the event, I’d have to explore the coverage further, and I don’t wish to participate in the circus by doing that, so I’m going to indulge in some uninformed opinionation.

It appears that most if not all of this frolic took place on private property -- that belonging to the Woods and to their neighbor -- and not on a public thoroughfare. Such being the case, I’m sure both parties would have been happy to settle any damages quietly between them. I seem to recall that one of the early stories I could not avoid said that Mr. Woods is not obligated to talk to the police. Why are they requesting him to come in, then? Possibly he might have posed a threat to public safety if he had managed to drive onto a city street, but apparently he didn’t get that far -- whether due to emotional upset or intoxication, I don’t see it is necessary for us to know.

Why is this incident getting so much attention? Because Tiger Woods is an admired athlete-celebrity, and we always resent those whom we admire. We resent the fact that other people are more beautiful than we, more talented than we, wealthier than we, get more attention than we, and are just plain better than we are by almost any conceivable measure, so we need to tear them down as well as admire them. And we ought to be ashamed of the fact that we do. Just because a person is famous for other reasons does not mean every little incident in his life is newsworthy: I would be outraged if the press poked into my private life this way and I refuse to participate in the humiliation of the Woods family now. It irritates me no end that in order to purchase my necessary groceries I am forced to walk past half a dozen magazine covers that trumpet the weaknesses and misbehavior of people I don’t know and about whom I could not care less. I suppose the fact that snooty, elitist, overpriced über-markets such as New Seasons and Whole Foods don’t display such magazines at the check-stand is one of their undisputed virtues and another justification for their prices (although their checkout fare continues to value youth, athleticism, and clear skin over wisdom and kindness). Let the rest of the nation play this game. I will not.