Meredith Baxter's New Family Ties: David Loftus

I have no idea who Meredith Baxter is. Since I grew up in a household without television, and later, when I owned one myself, I’ve rarely watched it except to catch up with movies on VHS and DVD, I have never seen an episode of Family Ties. But I sincerely wish Ms. Baxter all the best.

In an ideal world, her sexual preference would be nobody’s business. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and there are thousands -- perhaps millions -- of people who think of Ms. Baxter as a friend and mother, who think they know who and what she is; and millions more who continue to believe there is something wrong with homosexuality and lesbianism. It is for them, the people in both groups, and especially the intersection between the two, that I imagine Ms. Baxter spoke up. They need to realize that they didn’t know her after all, and because they care about her (or more properly, the person they thought they knew, based on the character she played) perhaps a few will look more kindly on gays and lesbians and their rights in this society and all over the world, as often happens when just plain folks learn that people they care about are gay (Dick Cheney and his daughter being a prime example).

Ms. Baxter wasn’t necessarily a lesbian all along. Perhaps she was heterosexual until recently. What does it matter? Personally, I suspect homosexuality isn’t necessarily genetically based or inherent, at least for some. The fact that so many professionals in theater, film, and sports are gay might not necessarily be evidence that they were so from birth, and that gays are drawn to such activities, but that such activities encourage gay behavior. People who are segregated by their professional and leisure activities tend to have more opportunities -- more encouragement -- to have sex with people of their own gender, and find they enjoy it. Many define themselves as bisexual, and some do not. (By the same token, those of us who consider ourselves unalterably straight might have discovered otherwise, given the right person and opportunity or particular set of circumstances.) This happens to some boys and girls in high school and college, before they go on to heterosexual marriages. And there’s nothing wrong with any of this, as long as it occurs between consenting adults.

It’ll be none too soon when gay marriages are legalized everywhere and nobody gives a damn who’s gay and who’s not. That day is coming -- far too slowly, but inevitably -- because more and more young people are perfectly aware that their friends are gay and there’s nothing wrong with that. Love is all too precious and rare -- no matter when and to whom we can give it and from whom receive it -- so any impediment to that, legal or social, needs to be identified and eradicated.

As soon as possible, and forever.